Tuesday, August 2, 2011


For about a week or so I've been meaning to call my Dr.

Obviously, since I waited an entire week I didn't feel like it was that big of a deal, but I finally remembered to do it yesterday.

And they wanted me to come in immediately.

Yesterday I sat in a waiting room while listening to them scramble around, trying to figure out why their computers weren't working.  I sat there and worried that this was going to take longer than my allotted hour lunch.

Yesterday they sent me for a sonogram.  They were worried that it may be something more.  I drove over to the clinic worried what I was going to tell my manager.

I sat there and waited.  I sat there and worried.  I worried about who was checking my files, whether or not our client needed something and I wasn't there to handle it.

Yesterday I had a Doctor say "We don't know what it is, we need more tests."

I sat there in my gown.  And I worried.  Only now I wasn't worried about my job and what was or was not happening in my absence.  I was worried about my little boy and what would happen if this went from "We don't know..." to "I'm so sorry..."  I worried about my husband and what would happen to if this changed our life from happiness to heartbreak.  I worried about my family and what would happen if...

Yesterday I did a lot of worrying, a lot of thinking. 

Now I'm focused on today.