Thursday, February 4, 2010

Thankful Thursday

This evening in my internet travels I was directed by a friend to read one of the most beautiful and heart wrenching things I have ever read.

Enjoying the Small Things

While I admit I can cry at the drop of a hat, this pretty much pushed me over the edge. But it did more than that.

It made me think. It made me reflect. And it made me so thankful.

I'm thankful for this woman putting her birth story out there for the world to read, putting her raw emotions, her hurt, her joy, her happiness and her love right out there, where everyone can see it.

I'm thankful that her daughter has such a loving family to be a part of.

But even more than that, I'm thankful for what I have been blessed with.

Those that know me know I'm not a sprititual person. Those that know my husband know this is a gross understatement. Nevertheless, I know enough to acknowledge the blessings I have had in my life. I know enough to not take for granted the man I love and the family we have made.

Recently a friend of mine (and when I say friend I mean one of those internet crazies that I pal around with during the day) lost her little girl after being born premature. I've never met this woman in real life. We don't talk on the phone, we didn't go to high school together. But the pain and sorrow I felt for her was so real. I cried for days. It pained me to see this woman, this friend lose her daughter. Why her? Why did she have to be the one? It wasn't fair. It still isn't.

What's more, it had me questioning this spiritual being. What did I do to deserve my son? What did I do to be so happy? I don't even know if I believe in a higher power, but something out there has made me so lucky but in the same wave of a wand or tip of a hat has made an unbearable pain for someone I care about. How is this fair?

I don't know if any of us will ever know the wonders of this universe. I won't pretend to know why some people are given pain and sorrow while others are given happiness and joy. I will however know that my friend's little girl was loved and will always be loved. And I know the Nella has been blessed with an amazing family. And I know that I have been touched and reminded once again how lucky I am.

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