Well, it's 7:15 Sunday morning. The house is quiet other than the coffee brewing and the heat kicking on. Randy and Skittles, per the norm, are cuddled in bed. I'm sure I won't be seeing either of them until much later in the day.
So why am I up?
Other than Shamrock kicking me on and off since about 3am, I couldn't get my head to stop racing. You know what I mean. You wake up, get a drink of water, readjust and BAM ~ off goes the brain on a tangent all its own.
It's never just one thing either that you can think about, analyze, put away and fall back to sleep. Nope. Today mine was:
Did I finish the movie last night? Did Randy put the extra lasagna tray in the freezer? What am I going to do about Christmas presents this year (hello, I haven't done ANY shopping yet? Was that him moving? Yup, that's him moving. Awww...there's a baby in there moving. A real baby. Think we'll get the nursery done in time? Where should we put the crip? HOLY CRAP, WHAT am I going to do with a baby? Can we do this? How on EARTH do people do this?
And that continued on for roughly 4 hours while I tossed and turned, tried getting comfortable and listened to Randy and Skittles snore in harmony.
A few of my very good mommy friends have given me several gems of wisdom that should ease all these worries about what type of mom I'm going to be, how everything comes to you naturally once the baby arrives, how I can do this, we can do this and we're going to be great at it. I appreciate all this reassurance (and 100% prefer it over the horrors of labor stories that I've begun getting bombarded with) but nevertheless there is still that part of my brain that feels him kicking and goes "Oh boy, he's going to be on the outside doing that soon."
I know Randy and I are going to be great parents. I know that this baby is going to be so loved he's probably going to have to be in therapy by 18. Still, there is that part of me (and I'm sure every mom to be and first time mom) that wonders how on Earth you got chosen to be the one to guide this new little person through their life especially when you are still trying to figure out how to guide yourself.
And this my friend will keep my head busy for the next three hours until I have a thought about cookies or some other mindless whim that sends my pregnancy brain out and about.
Third trimester today. Not much longer.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
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